Rounding First

Starring: Soren Fulton, Matthew Borish, & Sam Semenza

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

I am the biggest baseball fan on the planet. Baseball movies make up a whole section of my DVD collection, and based on the title and DVD cover of this film, I was led to believe that this was another baseball movie, it's not. What this movie is, is a terrific story, about three boys who break out of sleep away camp, to find out why their parents have been acting so strangely. These boys cross the state to get to the truth and what they find is really unexpected and made for one hell of a story. I really didn't figure out what was going on until the very end and once I did the rating for this film went way up, as it makes the story pure genius! You also wouldn't expect the acting in a movie centered around three kids to be as good as it was, but these boys were terrific. Soren Fulton plays Joe, the twelve year old leader of the group. Even at the rip old age of twenty-one, this kid has been in everything and had a ton of experience coming into this thing, so his strong performance wasn't so unexpected. What did surprise me was just how good Matthew Borish was. Aside from the TV show, Hack, Borish hasn't been in anything before this film, but he really made it exciting, playing the role of Tiger. Tiger is the small kid who always has to act tough and be crazy, not only to get respect, but to cover up how troubled his life is. Borish gives a performance that is both funny and heartbreaking, he did a truly incredible job. Rounding First will make you laugh, boost your curiosity, and give you something to watch that is out of the ordinary. I was disappointed once I figured out that this wasn't a baseball movie, but what I saw may have been even better.

Good Neighbors (2010)

Starring: Jay Baruchel, Scott Speedman, & Emily Hampshire

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

On several movie site I visit, there had been a buzz about an independent Canadian murder mystery film, that was supposed to be quite a thriller with big twist at the end. It sounded like the perfect movie for me and I couldn't wait to see it! Good Neighbors is about an apartment building in Canada that is getting a new tenant named Victor (Jay Baruchel). Victor immediately sees that something isn't right about the new place and soon learns that everyone is on edge because of a serial killer on the loose. A serial killer that I was able to identify ten minutes into the movie. How in the world can anyone, much less a movie fan, call this a thriller with a twist in the end? The killer was obvious from the very beginning and I'm willing to bet the average fourth grader would agree. As for the notion that this is a thriller? Come on, a thriller is supposed to have you on the edge of your seat, not falling asleep in it! The story was slow, sloppy, and predictable, but what about the acting. I generally like Jay Baruchel, but he is a mess in this film. Baruchel is way out of his element here and would probably do best sticking to Apatow comedies. The only bright spot in the film is Emily Hampshire, she's been around a while, but has never been in anything big. Hampshire was terrific and is really the only interesting character in this film. Good Neighbors is a huge disappointment and anyone who tells you otherwise can't be as big a movie fan as they proclaim to be. I can deal with slow moving, I can live with some boring parts here and there, but a painfully predictable story with very below average performances is a recipe for disaster.

8213: Gacy House

Starring: Jim Lewis, Matthew Temple, & Diana Terranova

 Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Camcorder or "found footage" films are inherently lazy, but they're cheap to make, so a lot of filmmakers are making them in the hopes that they will be the next Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity. 8213: Gacy House is one of these films and at first glance it looks like it's got everything it needs to be a winner. A serial killer, the paranormal, and a young good looking cast are usually the recipe for a very successful movie, but not here. I don't care much for these types of films to begin with, the acting is usually shitty and the constant movement of the camera makes me nauseous, but those aren't the only reasons to dislike 8213. The story makes no sense whatsoever and before making something like this, you'd think the director would have watched at least a couple episodes of Ghost Hunters. What kind of paranormal investigator goes ghost hunting with a half dozen people and then leaves the lights on!? Besides that huge flaw in the film, they're always saying they can feel something, with no evidence or hint that there's anything wrong, and when they do feel something, that's usually when nothing happens! The acting is awful, the cinematography is nauseating, the story is ridiculously stupid, and the special effects are complete garbage. The bottom line, 8213: Gacy House is a waste of a rental.

Last.fm Presents: My Top Artists & Songs of 2012

As many of you already know, I am just as passionate about my music as I am about my movies. To keep track of my music, I use an amazing service called Last.fm

Last.fm uses an app, called the scrobbler, to not only track the artists, songs, and albums you listen to the most, but it also creates your own social media page with your own radio station! If you have a song on your device that is in the last.fm library, when you scrobble it, it gets added to your own radio station. People can then go to your page and listen to the music you listen to! Additionally, they let you know when your artists are playing in your area, when they release new material, and they'll even recommend similar artists you might really like, Last.fm really is a terrific service that is 100% free! You can check out my last.fm page and radio station by clicking the link in the links section.

So, check out my page, listen to my radio station, and create your own Last.fm page with your own radio station for free!

Todd's Top 30 Songs of 2012:

1) Shinedown - Adrenaline 

2) Puddle of Mudd - Abrasive 

3) Papa Roach - ...To Be Loved 

4) Shinedown - Diamond Eyes 

5) Stone Temple Pilots - Down 

6) Live - All Over You 

7) Stone Temple Pilots - Interstate Love Song

8) 3 Doors Down - Kryptonite

9) Live - Heropsychodreamer

10) Nirvana - Lithium

11) Foo Fighters - All My Life

12) Local H - Bound For The Floor

13) Live - Lakini's Juice

14) Red Hot Chili Peppers - Around The World

15) Stone Temple Pilots - Vasoline

16) Foo Fighters - Monkey Wrench

17) Vains of Jenna - Californa Dreamin'

18) Shinedown - I Dare You

19) Buckcherry - Lawless & Lulu

20) Buckcherry - For The Movies

21) Sugarcult - Los Angeles

22) Cavo - Champagne

23) The Offspring - The Future Is Now

24) The Presidents of The USA - Lump

25) Green Day - Welcome To Paradise

26) Saliva - Survival of The Sickest

27) Local H - All The Kids Are Right

28) Linkin Park - Given Up

29) Hoobastank - My Turn

30) Tom Petty - Running Down A Dream

Todd's Top 100 Artists of 2012:

TOP 25:

1) Green Day

 2) The Offspring 

3) Local H 

4) Live 

5) Foo Fighters

 6) Papa Roach 

7) Shinedown 

8) Nirvana 

9) Stone Temple Pilots 

10) Buckcherry

 11) Puddle of Mudd 

12) Oasis 

13) Silverchair 

14) The Living End 

15) Collective Soul 

16) Red Hot Chili Peppers 

17) Nickelback 

18) Sugarcult 

19) Hoobastank 

20) Alice In Chains 

 21) The Smashing Pumpkins

 22) Goo Goo Dolls 

 23) Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers 

 24) Weezer 

 25) Marilyn Manson 

TOP 50:

26) Cavo 27) AC/DC 28) Three Days Grace 29) Everclear 30) Fuel 31) The Sound of Urchin 32) Incubus 33) Bowling For Soup 34) Unwritten Law 35) The Exies 36) Lifehouse 37) Pearl Jam 38) New Politics 39) Fountains of Wayne 40) The Rolling Stones 41) Creed 42) Our Lady Peace 43) Third Eye Blind 44) Goldfinger 45) Vains of Jenna 46) Lit 47) Drive A 48) Aerosmith 49) Eve 6 50) Oleander

TOP 100:

51) Saliva 52) MxPx 53) American Hi-Fi 54) Soundgarden 55) Linkin Park 56) Sublime 57) Sugar Ray 58) My Chemical Romance 59) Danko Jones 60) Maroon 5 61) Hinder 62) Rob Zombie 63) Inward Eye 64) The Pink Spiders 65) Sr-71 66) Audioslave 67) Billy Talent 68) Bush 69) 311 70) Ludo 71) Cage The Elephant 72) Wolfmother 73) Bon Jovi 74) Marvelous 3 75) Zebrahead 76) Daniel Tosh 77) All Time Low 78) Anti-Flag 79) In Flames 80) Feeder 81) Sum 41 82) Ultimate Fakebook 83) Rage Against The Machine 84) Silversun Pickups 85) The Beatles 86) No Doubt 87) Taking Back Sunday 88) George Carlin 89) Candelbox 90) Smash Mouth 91) Howard Stern 92) Justin Bieber 93) 3 Doors Down 94) Steel Panther 95) The Vines 96) Theory of a Deadman 97) Black Stone Cherry 98) Queens of The Stone Age 99) The Used 100) Gren

This Is 40

Starring: Paul Rudd & Leslie Mann

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Pete and Debbie, the loveable couple from Knocked Up, are back in the "sort of sequel" This Is 40. The couple are both turning 40, within days of each other, and decide that the number means it's time for a change, for them, as well as their family. They get new jobs and reconnect with family on their journey toward becoming a more mature couple, but it comes at a cost. Judd Apatow writes and directs this unique comedy, so I was expecting another hilarious winner, but they can't all be winners. The cast is fantastic and there are more than a few good laughs here, but this movie is extremely long and drawn out for a romantic comedy, and while it starts out strong, it starts to grow tiresome. There are many scenes between husband and wife that are boring and completely unnecessary. What I did like was how Apatow cast his daughters to be Pete and Debbie's daughters. They really are sisters and there was no pressure working for their dad, allowing them to really make it seem like this is a real family, and it's a good thing too, because for as good as both Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann are, they just didn't have much chemistry together. Both cast members were good in portraying their own characters, but when you put them together you see that something just isn't right about the pairing. I loved the concept and you will definitely laugh during this film, but it does lack a certain chemistry and is far too long for what it is.

V (2009)

Starring: Elizabeth Mitchell, Morris Chestnut, Joel Gretsch, Logan Huffman, Laura Vandervoort, Morena Baccarin, Scott Wolf, Christopher Shyer, Lourdes Benedicto, Mark Hildreth, Jane Badler, & Charles Mesure

Rating: 4 1/2 out of 5 stars

V stands for Visitors and it is one of the best show that you've never watched. Most fans of the original series weren't happy when they learned that V (2009) would be a re-imagining of the franchise as opposed to a modern day re-creation of the show, but that didn't stop them from watching it. V was the highest rated premier of any new show on any network in 2009, but as usual, ABC managed to screw it up. The show premiered with 14 million viewers and kept it's audience over it's first four episodes. ABC, in their infinite stupidity, decided to keep the fans hungry for more, and decided to hold the next eight episodes until nearly four months later! By that time, more than half the audience was gone and the show was barely renewed for a second season, but thank God it was, because as good as the premiere season was, the second season was ten times better! It wasn't until almost a year later that ABC decided to air the second season of V and the numbers were decent, but not enough to motivate the network into renewing the expensive show. The fans launched a huge campaign to try and save the show and to ABC's credit, they did try to sell it to another network, but ultimately failed to do so and V became another Nielsen casualty. As for the show itself, it had some similarities, but was ultimately very different than the original 1983 version. On a random day, at a random time, 29 alien ships appear over major Earth cities. Shortly thereafter, a beautiful woman appears explaining that they are peaceful beings who are here to help us and give the people of Earth some amazing gifts, but as always there's a twist. We learn that Visitors or V's are actually highly aggressive, reptilian creatures, who have been on Earth, disguised as humans, for years. Many have kept their cover, while others have learned to experience human emotion. These emotions have led them to join up with the human and rebel against their queen. The star of the show is Elizabeth Mitchell, better known as Juliette from Lost. She plays an FBI agent who doesn't trust the visitors and wants to find out what they're really doing here and I can honestly say that she makes the show. If you thought she was good as Juliette, wait until you meet Erica, a smart, tough, fearless woman who will do whatever it takes to find the truth and protect her family. She is joined by an outspoken priest, a rebellious V, and a wanted terrorist, as together they form their own resistance cell. The leader of the V's is Anna (Morena Baccarin), and yes, she is the daughter of Diana from the original series, and that's how the two series are linked. Diana was a pretty tough character, but Anna is absolutely ruthless. She has no limits and is willing to do anything to achieve her goals. She trusts no one and won't let anyone get in her way, even the people she loves the most. The first season is really about discovering who the V's are and seeing how ruthless, cunning, and cold they can be. The second season is more about getting inside the resistance and seeing why they are fighting and what they are fighting for. As you all know, I am a huge science fiction fan and I have no problem saying that this may have been the best sci-fi show to come along in the last twenty years. The writing is just incredible and when you pair that with acting that is just utterly mind-blowing, it's a recipe for a show that can't be missed. V had the potential to be the show that changed the very face of TV Science Fiction forever. I am not exaggerating when I say this, because this show really was that good. It is so imaginative and exciting, like a soap opera and action movie combined with the unique and unusual genre that is the essence of science fiction. There wasn't a single episode of this series that I didn't love, the cast is as good as a cast can be, and the writing is the kind of creative stuff that Hugo and Saturn awards are made of. V was the heart and soul of a potential Sci-Fi return to the top of network television, but they made the mistake of putting it on ABC and for that V paid with it's life.

Dark House

Starring: Meghan Ory, Jeffery Combs, & Ryan Melanger

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

The fourth time is the charm for the Fangoria Frightfest! The acclaimed horror festival has been a complete bust up until it's fourth film, Dark House. This is a highly imaginative film, with one hell of a twist in the end, and as all of my regular readers know, I love a good twist at the end! Dark House is Walston's newest haunted attraction, featuring state of the art technology, that promises to rattle even the most fearless of people. Aside from the new technology, the big draw for Dark House is that it is the actual house where a ghastly mass murder took place years earlier. Besides it's cool effects, what I really liked about this film was the strong background story that goes along with it. Yes, it does eventually become a gorefest, but it comes after you've been watching a really interesting story for quite some time. As for the gore, it's not what you usually see either, as it's done in a b-movie style. This was really interesting to me, as the attraction features state of the art technology, but the actual murder scenes look like something out of a cheesy 70s film. The stars of the film are mostly newcomers, and as expect some were great, while others need more school, but it's a fairly large cast, so those actors who aren't very good, didn't have much screen time. Dark House will make you jump, make you laugh, and shock you with it's surprise ending. There's a simple plot, that's easy to follow, and an interesting back story for those of us who like to think a little bit. It is really everything I look for in a Horror film and more.

Red State (2011)

Starring: Michael Parks, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, & Kyle Gallner

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Kevin Smith's latest film does not feature Jay or Silent Bob, and it's most defiantly not what you're used to seeing from the acclaimed director. Smith not only directed and wrote this film, but he also produced it independently, keeping it out of theaters, but how come? The answer is simple, it's Smith's unique personality and ability to show a film in a context that is as real as possible. Red State is a fictional type story that resembles and mocks the events in Waco. Three High School kids, from a small town, decide to use the internet to find a prostitute. They think they found a bargain, but when they arrived they quickly discovered that all their lives are now in danger. The woman who placed the add, belongs to a religious cult, who owns a compound, where they execute sinners. Michael Parks plays the leader of this group, Abin Copper, and in ever sense of the word he is nothing but brillient! As the pastor with two personalities, a public and private persona, Parks is able to really give us an inside look at what is really going on inside the minds of these people, it really was a great performance. The other standout from this cast is John Goodman, who plays the lead FBI agent in charge, who has to battle his conscious at the same time he's battling Cooper. Red State is a dark and extremely graphic depiction of what life is like in an ultra religious, super conservative environment. Some of the graphic speeches and violence can be hard to watch, but the acting is off the charts good, and you can't ask for a more creative or innovative writer than Kevin Smith. As usual, this film isn't for everyone, but I really loved it.

The Ultimate Movie Review's End of The Year Poll!

 The Ultimate Movie Review's End of The Year Poll!

Hey movie fans! First of all, I would like to thank everyone for their support, for following my blog, and for continuing to visit my little corner of the web. I am a movie fanatic and it's a pleasure to share with you what I watch every week and what I think you'll like as much as I did.

Another year has come on gone! This year was a difficult one between school, work, natural disasters, and computer failures, but I still managed to post 119 reviews bringing our total up to 386! In return, 17,000 of you have visited the site and I hope it helped you find something good to watch!

The Ultimate Movie Review has gotten pretty big! My reviews are featured on Netflix, GetGlue, and IMDB and I am a Super Reviewer on Flixster and Rotten Tomatoes! In addition many reviews have been picked up by other various sites and magazines! The blog has surpassed my every expectation, but it's still not enough for me!

I need your help to make this blog really explode and become a more popular destination for moviegoers! So...

I created a web poll so that you will be able to tell me what you like, what you don't, and what you think I can do better! Here's your chance to make The Ultimate Movie Review a huge success! Please take the poll, share the poll, and be as honest as possible!

The Ultimate Movie Review's End of The Year Poll! 

Blitz

Starring: Jason Statham, Aiden Gillen, & Zawe Ashton

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Jason Statham has established himself as the premiere action star of generation X and he shows why in Blitz! Unlike many of Statham's films, this one isn't just about shooting people, it's actually a great thriller, about a serial killer in London, who is targeting the police. That being said, straight action films are supposed to be exciting and fast paced, but when it's more of a thriller, it needs to slow down a bit. I was impressed by Blitz, but I honestly felt like I was watching the film in fast forward. Statham's character is also a bit of a change from what his fans will be used to. Brant is a crude, tough cop, who doesn't follow any rules and is actually quite funny. I honestly never saw Statham as someone who could pull off a role that involved humor, but he was amazing in this movie. His performance as well as that of "the killers" really enhanced this film. I'm most definitely an action junkie and I've seen quite a few Jason Statham films, and I can honestly say that this is the best one I've seen. The action scenes are intense, the story is intriguing, and Statham's character is the kind of cop that audiences will fall in love with. Action is a very repetitive genre and it's truly refreshing when you find an action film with a big star and great story attached to it.

Paranormal Activity 3

Starring: Lauren Bittner, Chris Smith, Chloe Csengery, & Jessica Brown

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Paranormal Activity started the phenomenon of films that are shot on camcorder. At the time, it was considered to be revolutionary, but at this point it's getting a little old. How many of these camcorder films have actually been successful? ...and don't you get just the slightest bit nauseated by the constant movement of the camera? I guess that's for you to decide, back to the film. In the third installment of Paranormal Activity, we learn what happened to Katie and her sister when they were little. To be honest with you, I was pretty into this film until the last twenty minutes or so. Without spoiling it for ya, lets just say the story takes a dramatic turn away from the storyline. The result of this is that the overall story isn't as creepy and really doesn't make as much sense as it should. Paranormal Activity was never that scary to begin with, the film plays on the audience by having things suddenly jump out at them, but the story itself has gotten far less creepier as the series has gone on. Part 3 and 4 do have different writer/directors and that may be part of the problem. The first one freaked me out, the second one was a little slow, but also did the trick, and this one really didn't scare me. They relied much more on making the audience jump than they did on scaring them with the actual story. Number three didn't stick with me for days afterward, the way one and two did. As for the cast, they were all newcomers and the little girls were absolutely terrific! This series has a way of finding newcomers who seem like they've been acting for decades. Paranormal Activity 3 is good for a few cheap jumps and laughs, but the ending was really disappointing, leading me to think less of this film than I do of the other two.

Hunger (2009)

Starring: Lori Huering, Linden Ashby, & Joel Egender

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Fangoria Frightfest film number three is Hunger, which many people have compared to Saw. Yeah, this movie is Saw, if Saw had the people locked in an empty room, had no budget, and Jigsaw was a mute cannibal. Hunger is most defiantly a ten on the gross out scale, but besides that it has absolutely nothing going for it. Seldom have I seen a horror film that is as pointless or moves as slowly as Hunger did. The film is only one hundred minutes, but it felt as though I was watching it for days! The star of the film is veteran horror actress, Lori Huering, whose character is pretty well written, but is also unfortunately as dull as the rest of the cast. Most reviews for Hunger have been favorable and I can't understand that. Aside from the victims arguing with each other, there is hardly any dialogue. There is also zero character development, which is crucial in a film like this. If the audience doesn't give two shits about the victims or what happens to them, then what's the point? Hunger tries to shock you with it's level of gore, but more concerning is the lack of substance and the laziness of the film makers. Yes, the ripped off most of their ideas from Saw. Saw had a tremendous villain and a fascinating story that spawned six squeals, while this film is so lazy that after a month of isolation, the men's beards didn't even grow! Somehow, Hunger got to be part of a major horror festival, but it most defiantly represents the festivals lowest point.

Meeting Evil

Starring: Samuel L. Jackson, Luke Wilson, & Leslie Bibb

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Meeting Evil surprised the hell out of me! When I read the description, I wasn't all that interested, but because Samuel L. Jackson was in it, I figured I'd give it twenty minutes or so, and I'm glad I did! This dark, independent, thriller was one of the most edgy, exciting films I've seen all year. Luke Wilson plays John, a man down on his luck. Suddenly, a stranger comes knocking at his door, and that leads to an unbelievable chain of events that ends with a twist that you will never see coming. Jackson is terrific as always, whether he's the good guy or the bad guy, he's always so entertaining and always manages to call someone racist, I love that! As for his co-star, Luke Wilson, I kept waiting for his character to open up, to have some kind of reaction to what was happening, but he doesn't, still his performance was a strong one. What I really liked about this film was how you really didn't know what was going to happen next. It seems like a small thing, but very few films like this go to such extremes and turn out to be so unpredictable. I can honestly say, when that twist was revealed at the end, I almost fell out of my chair. Yes, Meeting Evil is an independent film, but its better than any thriller that's come out this year. The acting is terrific, the story will have you on the edge of your seat, and just when you think you've got it all figured out, you find out that you don't know a thing. This was a tremendous movie that fell way under the radar, but I found it, and you should most definitely check it out for yourself.

Fingerprints

Starring: Leah Pipes, Kristin Cavallari, & Lou Diamond Phillips

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

This movie would have been so much better if they had just focused on the paranormal aspect and turned it into a Sci-Fi thriller, instead of a slasher film. The mystery surround the towns past is truly fascinating, but the accompanying slasher part completely takes away from what is otherwise a very good story. Melanie and her family move from the big city to a small town after a recent tragedy. Once there, Melanie becomes obsessed with a local urban legend and decides to discover the truth behind it with the helps of some ghost children. Leah Pipes gives an absolutely amazing performance as Melanie. I hate it when such a great performance goes to waste because it's in some limit release horror film. I'd never even heard of her before this film, but she was so engaging and really got me into this film. Her sister in the movie is played by Kristin Cavallari, who is possibly the best looking girl I've ever seen. She didn't have as big a role in the movie, but she was so supportive and sweet when everyone thought her sister was crazy. Fingerprints seems like a cheesy b-horror movie, with it's poor cinematography and inexperienced supporting cast, but in reality, it's a fantasy story intermingled with a completely unnecessary secondary plot. I really had a love-hate relationship with this movie, because it could have been so much more than it was.

Adventureland

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, & Bill Hader

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

From the Director who brought us Paul and Superbad, comes Adventureland, which unfortunately is just another predictable, run of the mill comedy. Jesse Eisenberg stars as a kid whose forced to get a summer job at a local amusement park with a wacky cast of characters. Of course the only other normal one working there, just happens to be the girl that he falls for. Bill Hader plays the boss and he should be writing and starring in films like this instead of playing secondary characters. Hader is one of the funniest and most underrated comedians in Hollywood and I can honestly say that he is the only reason to watch this movie, because the rest of the cast is just dull and uninspired. Eisenberg gives another flat and emotionless performance, while co-star Kristen Stewart plays along as if she were still one of the undead. I generally like most of the cast and I thought the story was decent, but overall Adventureland is just another predictable lame duck comedy. It will give you a few laughs, but don't expect too much more.

Fragile

Starring: Calista Flockhart, Richard Roxburgh, & Yasmin Murphy

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

After sitting on the shelve for seven years, Fragile, has finally been released, as part of the Fangoria Frightfest. It's a strange movie that takes place in a decrepit children's hospital off the coast of England. The hospital is about to go out of business, when weird occurrences start taking place, leaving them short staffed. To fill the void, they hire an American nurse who quickly realizes that something at this hospital is very wrong. This film was very creepy, especially at the end, but it wasn't particularly exciting. It's extremely slow moving and tries to make a relevant point, but it's contrary to the whole premise of the film. The tagline states that the dead stay near the things they love, but in this film the dead are terrorizing what they supposedly love. As for the acting, it was pretty good despite the fact that half the cast were just kids. I admit that I did like parts of this movie, but others are extremely weird and disturbing, not to mention I almost fell asleep a couple times. It's not a great film, but it's not the worst I've ever seen.

American Horror Story: Season 1

Starring: Dylan McDermott, Connie Britton, Evan Peters, Taissa Farmiga, Jessica Lange, Frances Conroy, & Denis O'Hare

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

American Horror Story is one of the hottest shows on television, but it's origins may surprise you. This innovate, unique drama, has similarities to several different shows, but most closely resembles Tales From The Crypt. Unlike Tales, the American horror stories each last one season instead of one episode. From season to season the story changes as does much of the cast, but one thing remains constant, it has some of the smartest and most daring people behind it. You may know the creators Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk, as the guys who brought you Glee, but American Horror Story couldn't be more different. In this series they show a dark twisted side that they could never get away with on network television. As I said the story changes from season to season, so I can't really do a review of the series, but I can tell you about season one. The first season of American Horror Story introduces us to Los Angeles's famous murder house, which since it's creation, ninety years ago, has known nothing but death and heartache. The house is purchased by Dr. Ben Harmon, who knows nothing of the houses history. Dr. Harmon is moving his family across the country to give them a second chance after mistakes and personal tragedies. The story is gripping and easy to follow, but what I liked more were the flashbacks that told the history of the house and explain all the weird stuff that's happening. While the cast features some very experienced, award winning actors, it's a combination of Jessica Lange and Evan Peters who makes this show what it is. Lange is a veteran actress known more for her roles on the big screen, while Peters only just made an impression on me a couple of years ago in the film Clipping Adam. Their unique yet different styles and personalities are the reason this weird show works. In the same way they are able to connect with every character in the show, they are also able to connect with every member of the audience, and that's why they are two of the three cast members who are back for the new story, Asylum. American Horror Story is not like any other show you've seen on television, in fact, I'm pretty surprised they are able to get away with some of the stuff they are doing. It's hard to find a good TV show based on the Horror genre and when you do it's usually a lame comedy. Shows like the Munsters and the Addams Family are legendary, while shows like Harsh Realm and Freaky Links just fizzled out. American Horror Story is different though, as it's innovative and pushes the limits of what you can do on television. It's a show that is most definitely not for everyone, but if you're a fan of the unusual and tired of things like Twilight and The Walking Dead, that go absolutely nowhere, check out American Horror Story, you should be pleasantly surprised.

Twelve

Starring: Chance Crawford, Emma Roberts, Esti Ginzburg, & Kiefer Sutherland

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Gossip Girl meets Limitless in this clever, fast-paced, independent drama by Joel Shumacher. The story follows Manhattan's elite teenage population and illustrates how even the wealthy aren't immune to the problems of the big city. The film has a ton of characters and is cleverly narrated by Kiefer Sutherland, who helps us keep everything straight. Twelve refers to a new designer drug on the street and the film centers around High School drop out, White Mike (Chance Crawford), who is connected to just about every one. Forced by unforeseen circumstance, White Mike has become their dealer and has all the dirt on these elite people. As for the story, it's a complicated, winding tale, that I honestly found to be intriguing. Crawford is phenomenal as the center piece to everything and finally proves that's he's not just a pretty face. A former model, Crawford has gained popularity as one of the leads in Gossip Girl and it has been said, on more than one occasion, that his looks are the reason, but he proves them all wrong with a gutsy and amazing performance in Twelve. As for the rest of the cast, it's such an amazing random mix of people that you can't help but fall in love with it. In Twelve, there are appearances from everyone from 50 cent to Macaulay Culkin's little brother, Dewey from Malcolm In The Middle, and even Lenny Kravitz's daughter. You never know whose going to show up and what their story might be. Twelve is one of the smartest and most innovative dramas I've seen in years and has earned the rare honor of being called a can't miss film!

Road Kill (2010)

Starring: Xavier Samuel, Sophie Lowe, Bob Morley, & Georgina Haig

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Ever since landing a role in the Twilight movies, Australian soap hunk, Xavier Samuel has been every where! Recently, many films he made back in Australia have been turning up on DVD in the U.S. and Road Kill is one of those films. Picked up as part of the Fangoria Frightfest, Road Kill isn't your typical horror flick. It has it's fair share of gore and beautiful people, but the story is defiantly unique. Four backpackers in the outback get run off the road by a large truck. Unable to go anywhere, they start walking and find the truck abandoned up the road. Since they're stuck in the middle of nowhere, they decide to take it and that's when they start to change. It's not the most original story, but it's not predictable either. Xavier Samuel does a terrific job as the groups leader, trying to make sense of the whole things. Both female leads, Sophie Lowe and Georgina Haig, are also really good. I tend to find in films like this that the girls are super hot, but very rarely can they act, but that's not the case here. Road Kill impressed me, but it's not all good, as parts of it were extremely slow and some of the dialogue was kind of ridiculous. Road Kill's a pretty entertaining film, it's nothing special, but it's not bad either.

Kidulthood

Starring: Aml Ameen, Red Mandrel, Noel Clarke, & Nick Hoult

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Kidulthood is another film that makes people want to see it, by advertising a star that's in it for all of five minutes, Nick Hoult of Skins, About A Boy, and X-Men fame. He's the reason I gave this film a chance, because honestly, the plot isn't really something that interests me. This film is so far out there and so strange, that I can't even tell you what it's about! A bullied girl in a London high school kills herself and the kids get time off from school. After that the story splinters into a million different pieces of kids running wild in the streets of London and most of it makes absolutely no sense. Kidulthood tries to become the British version of Boyz In The Hood, but completely fails. The British gangstas, aren't exactly gangsta, and things move so unbelievably fast that it's impossible to keep track of who is who and who is doing what. To sum it all up, there's no real plot, meaning there isn't much of a point to this movie. There are also far too many characters, many of whom look a like, and very few that can actually act worth a damn. Kidulthood is one big blur of violence and F-bombs without a theme, a plot, or a point. This is just another example of a movie that tries to attract people with foul language, unnecessary violence, and a marquis name that barely makes a cameo. It's a complete waste of two hours!

Knockaround Guys

Starring: Barry Pepper, Seth Green, Vin Diesel, Dennis Hopper, & John Malkovich

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Why would anyone watch a movie that features Seth Green as a gangster or any movie with Vin Diesel for that matter? Personally, I had very little interest in this film, but I wanted to see it because of John Malkovich. He is so funny and no one plays the bad guy, better than he does. As always, Malkovich was brilliant, in an otherwise awful movie. Knockaround Guys is the story of four gangster's kids, who are tired of being nobodies, and decide it's time to make a score of their own. A score that they manage to royally screw up. It's a good premise for a movie and it was written pretty well. They did a great job casting veteran actors like Malkovich and Dennis Hopper to play the crime bosses, but they really blew it when it came to casting their kids. Seth Green isn't believable at all, seriously, I think the little kid in the beginning of the movie could kick his ass. They try to cover up the fact that he doesn't fit the role by making him a drug addict, but it doesn't work out. Vin Diesel is another one, he may be terrific in crazy action films that hardly have any lines, but when the role is something of substance, and requires a personality, Diesel is the last person who should be cast. He is one of the worst actors I've ever seen, but there is a bright side. When Arnold Schwarzenegger first started acting, he was pretty terrible too, but after gaining some experience, he blossomed into a superstar, who gave us some great films. I hope the same can be said about Diesel in a few years, until then, unless you're a die hard John Malkovich fan, you can avoid seeing this giant mess of a film.

Dreamscape

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Max Von Sydow, & Kate Capshaw

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

I really wish that I had seen this film, before I saw Inception. Of course you can't compare the graphics or special effects, in fact, the effects in Dreamscape are laughable by today's standards, but this was really the first movie to explore entering someones dreams. The story is wonderfully creative with unlimited possibilities, but at the time it was made, you couldn't rely on the special effects to make the movie, the way some films today do. What Dreamscape really needed was a young charismatic star to put the film over the top, and they found him in Dennis Quaid. The difference in his personality and the types of roles he chooses to take have done a complete turnaround over the last thirty years. The Dennis Quaid of today is a strong, emotionless character, who is determined to do whatever he sets his mind to. In Dreamscape he's funny, ambitious, and absolutely adds character to a story that could have gone either way. What the film loses in predictability and the sometimes slow pace, is more than made up for with Quaid's standout performance. I'd always heard good things about Dreamscape and how it was the inspiration for Inception, but it's a thirty year old film with outdated effects and some really cheesy stuff, I really didn't expect it to be as good it as it was.

Equilibrium

Starring: Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, & Emily Watson

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Equilibrium is an underground Sci-Fi film with a huge cult following. If you ask any other Sci-Fi geek, they'll probably have Equilibrium in their top ten list, but I couldn't tell you why. The film is vintage Sci-Fi, with a semi-original idea, unfortunately, the cast just didn't pull it off. I've never been a huge Christian Bale fan and this movie is a prime example of why. He's given a role that suites him perfectly and he mumbles and relies on the rest of the cast to carry him. In the future, emotions and things that evoke emotions are outlawed, and Bale is one of the men responsible for enforcing these laws, but he soon turns to the other side, when he accidentally feels an emotion for the first time. Bale is a cold guy to begin with. He never shows much emotion even when his role calls for it, so aside from Keanu Reeves, he was the best choice for this role. The story was a little out there and the effects were over the top, but it's Bale himself who puts the icing on the turd cake. He's completely dependent on his fellow cast members and the ridiculous special effects his character is given. Maybe I'm just not that bright, but I really don't understand why so many people are so obsessed with this movie. The cast wasn't anything special and the story was okay at best.

Tin Man

Starring: Zooey Deschanel, Alan Cummings, Neal McDonough, Kathleen Robertson, Raoul Trujillo, Callum Keith Rennie, Richard Dreyfuss, Ian Wallace, Gwynyth Walsh, Anna Galvin, & Ted Whittall

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Several years ago, the SyFy channel decided to take a crack at re-inventing the classic Wizard of Oz, a noble task, that many have tried and failed. I didn't know what to expect, but I assumed it would be some variation of the classic tale, hoping it would be more the like books and less like the films. Tin Man is defiantly not for kids and takes a unique approach to the classic story. In this version, OZ is not the friendly loveable place with strange characters and happy times for all. It's a dark story, about a dark place, where presently there is a lot of pain and misery. The big twist in the story is that this OZ is centuries past the one visited by Dorothy Gale. In the Outer Zone (O.Z.), Dorothy Gale is a revered as the start of the royal families bloodline, but she has been dead for centuries! That being said, quite ingeniously, the future residents of the O.Z. parallel the old story, but not because they have to, they are in a sense mocking the original story in subtle ways. There's D.G. (Zooey Deschanel), the girl from the other side, who was forced into the O.Z., with no memory of ever having been there before. She soon meets Glitch, (Alan Cummings) a man who had part of his brain removed for disobeying the Queen. As they try to figure out what is happening around them, they run into a man (Neal McDonough) being punished in a Tin Man suit. This man was a Cop or Tin Man in the O.Z. who was deemed a threat, and put into this horrible form of torture. Finally, they come to the rescue of a native healer, named Raw (Raoul Trujillo), who has become trapped by carnivores and is about to become dinner. Together they go to see the wise man, to find out how to proceed in helping D.G. The Wise Man (Richard Dreyfuss) turns out to be a drugged out magician doing parlor tricks! There are a million other parallels to the original story that make the journey through the O.Z. that much more enjoyable. Zooey Deschanel is the star and even though people often mistake her unique style of acting for inexperience, she was the perfect choice to play D.G. The other standout is veteran character actor, Neal McDonough, who gives a gut wrenching and strong performance as the tortured former cop, in search of his family. The rest of the supporting cast was equally as impressive, taking you through the full range of emotions. As I said before, this is certainly not the OZ you grew up with and it's certainly not what I expected. Everything from the special effects, to the story, and even the modernization, was extremely impressive. It really is a shame that this was only a three part mini-series, but this would have made for one hell of a regular series. Some of the parallels are obvious, but there were plenty of times where I legitimately forgot that I was watching The Wizard of Oz. Leave the musical for the kid, this is what Frank Baum had in mind when he started this series, and it's most defiantly meant for mature audiences only.

Wild Things (1998)

Starring: Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon, Denise Richards, & Kevin Bacon

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

For years, people have been talking to me about this smart, sexy thriller, that spawned three sequels. There is also something to be said for mysteries, with twists and turns, that make you think, but a half hour into this thing, it was easy to figure out why none of the stars came back for the sequels. This movie certainly plays up the eye candy angle, with two of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, and at first glance, it seems like it's going to be a pretty good film, but then the twists and turns kick in. Throwing in a twist can make an ordinary film spectacular, but when you do it every five minutes, it just confuses the hell out of the audience, and that's what happened here. By the end of Wild Things, I didn't know what the hell was going on anymore. As for the performances, they range from the brilliant Neve Campbell to the horrid Matt Dillon, and feature a ton of cameos in-between. I wanted to like this movie, there are some very good looking people, who like to take their cloths off, and that does tend to help you focus more, but the question is what are we focusing on? I concluded that there really isn't a reason to watch two hours of pure shit, when you can find all the naked celebrity pictures you could ever want, in five minutes online.

Freaky Faron

Starring: Courtney Halverson, Lydia Milner, & Carly Hayes

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

This is not a movie you should see, but I gave it one and a half stars because of it's star, Courtney Halverson. Halverson is a newcomer, who hasn't done much, but she was terrific and gave a little credibility to an otherwise horrible movie. Freaky Faron was listed as Sci-Fi/Fantasy, but in reality, it's a movie that could have aired on the Disney Channel. The plot is ridiculously stupid and is played out by actors who have hardly done anything before! Halverson was funny and entertaining as the freaky girl, who seems to be psychic and smarter than every one around her. Aside from that, this movie is not worth the reel it was recorded on. I find myself having a hard time explaining to you just how bad this thing was, I mean it was so bad, that I can't even begin to describe the story for you and that in and of itself should tell you to avoid it!

The Innkeepers

Starring: Sara Paxton, Pat Healy, & Kelly McGillis

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

I was looking for a good horror movie, that fell under the radar, to promote for halloween, and I was told that the Innkeepers was that film, but it wasn't. This film is so clique, stealing almost everything from other films of the same genre. They had the nerve to give this movie an R rating and call it the must see horror movie of the year, but truthfully, its slightly more scary than a Disney movie! An old hotel is going out of business and the two remaining employees decide to investigate the long history of ghost sightings at the establishment. There are only a couple guests, giving them the perfect opportunity to investigate. The only thing this film uses in order to frighten you is random things jumping out at you, which most of the time aren't what you expect them to be. There is also a creepy old woman staying there who can talk to the spirits and predict the future, but if that isn't bad enough, there is of course the investigations themselves. Using nothing but a shitty old tape recorder, they go looking for EVPs, using every phrase and question they could steal from Ghost Hunters. Yeah, the Innkeepers really is that ridiculous and the only really shocking thing about this movie is that someone actually gave it an R rating! Was the MPAA associate a little girl or elderly woman, because honestly, Monster House was scarier than this thing was.

World's Greatest Dad

Starring: Robin Williams, Daryl Sabara, & Eric Martin

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Robin Williams is one of the funniest men to ever star on the silverscreen, but occasionally he does a weird dark comedy, that's very hit or miss. In World's Greatest Dad, Williams plays an English Teacher, who covers up his son's bizarre and embarrassing death. The suicide note he forged gets printed by the school newspaper, making his loser son, an overnight sensation. Williams is a great actor and gives creedence to even a bad film like this, but even he can't save this one. The story is just ridiculous, his son (Daryl Sabara) was a complete asshole that everyone wanted dead. No one would all of a sudden care, just because he wrote a heartfelt suicide note. It's also extremely unrealistic, since his son was as stupid as they come. That being said, with the exception of newcomer, Eric Martin, the rest of the supporting cast was awful, making the film that much more unrealistic. World's Greatest Dad may have landed it's star, but it's a sloppy movie, that really doesn't make a whole lot of sense. It's an hour and a half of pure torture, with the occasional funny scene that's all Robin Williams. This is one film that just starts out slow, never gets going and is anything but the "hilarious", "wonderful" film that I was expecting.

The Ultimate Movie Review On YouTube!

 

Okay...You asked for it so I did it! As per my followers requests, you can now watch the trailers of all the movies I review on our official YouTube page!!! Now it will be even easier to help you figure out what you want to watch! The link will be on the right with the rest of them, I hope you find something you like!

A Good Old Fashioned Orgy

Starring: Jason Sudeikis, Leslie Bibb, & Lake Bell

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

Haven't we had enough of this format already? Four guys and Four girls, who like to party, decide to do something wild and crazy one night. There's the leader and the shy one, and of course the weird one and the funny one. This set-up has been beaten to death! If you've seen Super Bad, The Hangover, Take Me Home Tonight, or any number of copycats, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Granted, the idea here is a little more original than most and the movie does do what it was intended to do, make you laugh. The faces are different, the situation is different, but everything else is exactly the same, there's nothing original here. Jason Sudeikis and Lake Bell do a great job of making us laugh, but again it's just your basic drunken idiots out to do something special, with all the pitfalls, and weird shit that happens in-between. It was funny and a great way to kill a couple hours, but I got an extreme sensation of deja vu throughout this film. Overall, A Good Old Fashioned Orgy is good for some cheap laughs, but it's honestly nothing you haven't seen before.

The Traveler (2010)

Starring: Val Kilmer, Dylan Neal, & Camille Sullivan

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

After seeing this film, I'm pretty certain we have a new front runner for the "Worst Movie I've Seen All Year" contest. I should have known a B-Horror movie, starring Val Kilmer, wouldn't be any good, but once again I was fooled by one of those clever bastards who write the descriptions on the back of the box. One a snowy Christmas Eve, a man walks into a Police station, to confess to crimes he hasn't yet committed. It sounded like a cool concept, when in actuality, it was nothing more than a waste of time. Where to begin? First off, this film is so painfully predictable, my dog knew what was coming next. The Traveler must have had no budget what-so-ever, because not only was the supporting cast a complete joke, but so was everything else! From the decrepit, falling apart, Police station to the twenty year old squad cars, and of course the miserable special effects, this film was pure shit from beginning to end. As for Val Kilmer, he was about as convincing as Tyler Perry is as the new Alex Cross. Seldom have a seen a more lazy and sloppy performance, with such a complete lack of emotion and muffled lines. I really have to wonder if the other actors could smell the manure coming off of him on the set. This film is one that never should have even been made, run away from it and never look back!

The Lazarus Project

Starring: Paul Walker, Piper Perabo, & Bob Gunton

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Lazarus Project is a highly imaginative film and a refreshingly original concept by writer/producer John Glenn. The story follows Ben Garvey (Paul Walker), a family man with a troubled past. When his family hits hard times, the only thing left for him to do, is turn to what he is good at, committing crime. Unfortunately for him, this time someone dies during the crime and he is given a death sentence. As he's in the execution chamber, the drugs pump into him, and that should be the end of the story, but it's not. Garvey awakes seemingly unharmed and reborn in a small Oregon town, in the middle of nowhere. He's told that he's been given a second chance, but quickly figures out that all is not as it seems. The Lazarus Project is full of twists and turns and is kind of similar to Shutter Island. We see a lot of things and changes that we're not sure are real or in Garvey's imagination, that's why I loved this movie. The film makes you think and actually figure things out for yourself. Unlike many similar films, Glenn doesn't just assume we're a bunch of idiots and puts us right alongside Ben Garvey as we figure out what's going on. The story is pure genius, but if this way my project I would have chosen a different star. Sure, Paul Walker is nice to look at, and does an adequate job, but this is a highly emotional story that doesn't play to his strengths as an actor. Walker didn't convincingly portray the emotions of the given situations and made their effect less dramatic. This film is also painfully slow at times, but the good most definitely out weighs the bad. The Lazarus Project is original and will keep you guessing, which sadly, is something most films today can't claim.

Act of Valor

Starring: Active Duty United States Marines

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Act of Valor is a refreshingly new and ambitious idea, that takes the stories of active U.S. Marines and turns them into one big story, which is then played out by the very Marines who experienced them. I loved the concept, but this film falls way short of expectations. I believe the purpose of military is the service and protection of our nation, but in Act of Valor the Marines are portrayed as trigger happy Americans. We see the Marines, following up on CIA Intel, going into four different foreign countries, shooting first and asking questions later. Is this really the image of our military that we want to portray to the rest of the world? Regardless of what's real and what's not, these Marines come off as ruthless, with an attitude of 'fuck you we're American, we'll do what we want.' As expected, the action scenes were some of the best and most realistic I've ever seen. I would except nothing less, being that the film features men who have been in actual combat and know what it looks like. The acting, also as excepted, was really awful, but for the first time in the twenty month history of this blog I won't blame the actors for it, since after all, they aren't really actors. The action sequences alone more than make up for the shitty acting job, but again, I have a real problem with the message this film is sending out to the world. Chronicling the heroism and every day life of a U.S. Marine is admirable, but portraying them like Bruce Willis in Die Hard isn't doing them any favors, in fact it's making an already difficult job harder.

Seeking Justice

Starring: Nicholas Cage, January Jones, & Guy Pierce

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Seeking Justice is a rare example of a B-Movie blockbuster. This film may have been direct-to-video, but it features one hell of a cast, a ton of action, and a pretty decent storyline. Like most B-movies, this film was predictable as hell, but not in a bad way. Yes, I knew what was coming, but I was still interested in seeing how it was done and what the results would be. Nicholas Cage is actual not the action star of this film, he is merely a High School English Teacher, with a seemingly perfect life. His world gets turned around though when his wife is savagely raped and beaten. As a result, Cage has two options, let the police do their thing or find someone else to take care of business. Can you guess which choice he made? Cage is of course fantastic as always. Even if the particular film doesn't suit your interests, when you see that it stars Nicholas Cage, you know you're about to be entertained. Guy Pierce is also excellent, giving a performance that was eerily similar to that of his character in Memento. Seeking Justice is definitely not an award winning film and is destine to fall under the radar of most moviegoers, but it's just as thrilling and entertaining as anything you'll see at the box office.

The Tall Man (2012)

Starring: Jessica Biel, Jodelle Ferland, & William Davis

Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

The Tall Man tries very hard to be something it's not, a Stephen King story. Parts of this film reek with King's influence, but I don't think he'd be all that thrilled about it. When the film first started I thought it was a pretty good movie, but by the end I was just confused. The story follows a local resident in the town of Cold Rock, who has taken over her husband's medical practice after he passed away. That resident is played by Jessica Biel, whose performance and looks are really the only reason to watch this movie. In the town of Cold Rock, the children have been disappearing without a trace and the only thing people have seen is a tall man, dressed in black, leaving the scene. Some people say he's an urban legend, while others claim to have witnessed his abductions, and the whole town is terrified. I found it kind of funny that in a town crippled by fear, not knowing whose child could be next, the kids parents, let them ride their bikes to the store and let them play alone in the fields, it's just one of many parts of this film that just off. As I said, the beginning of this film is terrific, but then it gets weirder and weirder and builds to a conclusion that doesn't make any damn sense! I know this must of have been someone's passion and that they spent years developing it, but before you released it to the public, did you bother to watch it? Jessica Biel is sexy and a terrific actress who is way too good to be doing shitty b-movies like this. If you're a die-hard fan, check it out, she's great, but if you're not, I'd definitely stay away from this one.

The Comedy Central Roasts

The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget

The Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner

The Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff

The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen

The Comedy Central Roast of Roseanne

The past week I couldn't decide which TV series to start, so while I took my sweet ass time deciding, I figured I'd check out some of the wildly popular Comedy Central Roasts. I'm not going to rate them or list all of the roasters, because every person has only about ten minutes and everybody has their own unique styles which appeal to different people. I happened to love Gilbert Gottfried and Greg Giraldo, but I really couldn't stand Jeffery Ross or Andy Dick, other people might feel just the opposite. The purpose of a Roast is to take someone you admire and totally make fun of them, to say every thing you've ever wanted to say to them and make everyone laugh at them. What I don't understand about the way Comedy Central does their Roasts is instead of loading the dais with that person's friends, family, and co-workers, they only let them invite a couple of familiar faces, and then fill in the rest with stand up comics who don't even know these guys. I suppose it's less painful for the roasted, having a bunch of people they don't know talking shit about them, but it also leads to everyone repeating the same obvious jokes, take Roseanne for example. We all know she's getting old, she's fat, and her voice is irritating as hell, but that's pretty much all the comics had to say about her and it got old, pretty quick. The lines are hilarious and obviously written by some very talented comedians, but personally, I'd like to see the roast-ed's friends and family come up on stage and say everything they ever wanted to say. The Comedy Central Roasts are funny, entertaining, and considerably more vulgar than the old style Dean Martin roasts, but they lack something the Dean Martin roasts had and that was their own personality. Comedy Central's Roasts are mass-produced, often use the same comedians, and often get old after half an hour, that being said, they're still pretty damn funny and I can't believe some of the things that came out of their mouths.