Altered

Starring: Brad Henke, Adam Kaufman, & James Gammon

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

If Seinfeld is the show about nothing, Altered is the movie about nothing. These four friends were abducted by aliens fifteen years earlier, so these geniuses decide to get revenge by kidnapping one of the aliens. They accomplish their goal, but once they do, they don't know what to do with it and lock it in the garage. After that it becomes a slasher film where nothing significant really happens. Honestly, they kidnapped this thing and then don't know what to do with it, so then what's the point? To make things worse, we never see the abduction or find out what exactly happened to them up there. It's just an extremely dark and confusing hunting scene, which believe it or not features a harpoon, and then there is nothing else. As for the acting it is just as inconsistent as the story! One minute their going crazy, trying to kill each other and the next they're crying about old times, it's ridiculous! James Gammon is the only name in this thing, playing the sheriff in one of his last roles. The guys are so intimidated by the sheriff and when we finally see him, we find out he's this little eighty year old guy, are you kidding me? This movie is a complete disaster and an utter waste of time. Being that it's from the writer/director of The Blair Witch Project, I was expecting something as groundbreaking as that was, unfortunately, Altered isn't it and there is a good reason why you've probably never heard of it.