Cross (2011)

Starring: Brian Austin Green, Michael Clarke Duncan, & Vinnie Jones

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Allow me to preface this review, by saying that I'm not entirely sure if this movie was supposed to be taken seriously. Nowhere in any online description have I found Cross, listed under comedy, and if that is truly the case, then the filmmakers must think people are all very simple minded. Full of 80s teen hearthrobs, cliche lines, and really awful special effects, I was sure that this was going to be a farce of the Avengers, the only problem is, it never did get funny. Callan Cross (Brian Austin Green) is an ordinary man, who is given superhero powers from an ancient cross he wears around his neck. When the cross is stolen, Callan and his band of aerobatic, kung fu, gadget wearing friends, go to retrieve the cross and discover a much larger conspiracy. Brian Austin Green stars and at one time, he was a great actor, he was good looking too, but that's all changed. Depressed and lazy, Green delivers absolutely some of the worst dialogue I've ever heard, over the course of ninety minutes. He was clearly in it for the paycheck, as Cross is streaming, featured, and complete garbage. I even suspect that the whole 80s teen heartthrob aspect wasn't intentional, but rather the only actors desperate enough for work, that they agreed to be cast in this thing. Don't let looks deceive you, this is no farce, and it is far from being the Avengers, the only thing Cross is, is a complete waste of time.