Kidulthood

Starring: Aml Ameen, Red Mandrel, Noel Clarke, & Nick Hoult

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Kidulthood is another film that makes people want to see it, by advertising a star that's in it for all of five minutes, Nick Hoult of Skins, About A Boy, and X-Men fame. He's the reason I gave this film a chance, because honestly, the plot isn't really something that interests me. This film is so far out there and so strange, that I can't even tell you what it's about! A bullied girl in a London high school kills herself and the kids get time off from school. After that the story splinters into a million different pieces of kids running wild in the streets of London and most of it makes absolutely no sense. Kidulthood tries to become the British version of Boyz In The Hood, but completely fails. The British gangstas, aren't exactly gangsta, and things move so unbelievably fast that it's impossible to keep track of who is who and who is doing what. To sum it all up, there's no real plot, meaning there isn't much of a point to this movie. There are also far too many characters, many of whom look a like, and very few that can actually act worth a damn. Kidulthood is one big blur of violence and F-bombs without a theme, a plot, or a point. This is just another example of a movie that tries to attract people with foul language, unnecessary violence, and a marquis name that barely makes a cameo. It's a complete waste of two hours!

Knockaround Guys

Starring: Barry Pepper, Seth Green, Vin Diesel, Dennis Hopper, & John Malkovich

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Why would anyone watch a movie that features Seth Green as a gangster or any movie with Vin Diesel for that matter? Personally, I had very little interest in this film, but I wanted to see it because of John Malkovich. He is so funny and no one plays the bad guy, better than he does. As always, Malkovich was brilliant, in an otherwise awful movie. Knockaround Guys is the story of four gangster's kids, who are tired of being nobodies, and decide it's time to make a score of their own. A score that they manage to royally screw up. It's a good premise for a movie and it was written pretty well. They did a great job casting veteran actors like Malkovich and Dennis Hopper to play the crime bosses, but they really blew it when it came to casting their kids. Seth Green isn't believable at all, seriously, I think the little kid in the beginning of the movie could kick his ass. They try to cover up the fact that he doesn't fit the role by making him a drug addict, but it doesn't work out. Vin Diesel is another one, he may be terrific in crazy action films that hardly have any lines, but when the role is something of substance, and requires a personality, Diesel is the last person who should be cast. He is one of the worst actors I've ever seen, but there is a bright side. When Arnold Schwarzenegger first started acting, he was pretty terrible too, but after gaining some experience, he blossomed into a superstar, who gave us some great films. I hope the same can be said about Diesel in a few years, until then, unless you're a die hard John Malkovich fan, you can avoid seeing this giant mess of a film.

Dreamscape

Starring: Dennis Quaid, Max Von Sydow, & Kate Capshaw

Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

I really wish that I had seen this film, before I saw Inception. Of course you can't compare the graphics or special effects, in fact, the effects in Dreamscape are laughable by today's standards, but this was really the first movie to explore entering someones dreams. The story is wonderfully creative with unlimited possibilities, but at the time it was made, you couldn't rely on the special effects to make the movie, the way some films today do. What Dreamscape really needed was a young charismatic star to put the film over the top, and they found him in Dennis Quaid. The difference in his personality and the types of roles he chooses to take have done a complete turnaround over the last thirty years. The Dennis Quaid of today is a strong, emotionless character, who is determined to do whatever he sets his mind to. In Dreamscape he's funny, ambitious, and absolutely adds character to a story that could have gone either way. What the film loses in predictability and the sometimes slow pace, is more than made up for with Quaid's standout performance. I'd always heard good things about Dreamscape and how it was the inspiration for Inception, but it's a thirty year old film with outdated effects and some really cheesy stuff, I really didn't expect it to be as good it as it was.

Equilibrium

Starring: Christian Bale, Taye Diggs, & Emily Watson

Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Equilibrium is an underground Sci-Fi film with a huge cult following. If you ask any other Sci-Fi geek, they'll probably have Equilibrium in their top ten list, but I couldn't tell you why. The film is vintage Sci-Fi, with a semi-original idea, unfortunately, the cast just didn't pull it off. I've never been a huge Christian Bale fan and this movie is a prime example of why. He's given a role that suites him perfectly and he mumbles and relies on the rest of the cast to carry him. In the future, emotions and things that evoke emotions are outlawed, and Bale is one of the men responsible for enforcing these laws, but he soon turns to the other side, when he accidentally feels an emotion for the first time. Bale is a cold guy to begin with. He never shows much emotion even when his role calls for it, so aside from Keanu Reeves, he was the best choice for this role. The story was a little out there and the effects were over the top, but it's Bale himself who puts the icing on the turd cake. He's completely dependent on his fellow cast members and the ridiculous special effects his character is given. Maybe I'm just not that bright, but I really don't understand why so many people are so obsessed with this movie. The cast wasn't anything special and the story was okay at best.

Tin Man

Starring: Zooey Deschanel, Alan Cummings, Neal McDonough, Kathleen Robertson, Raoul Trujillo, Callum Keith Rennie, Richard Dreyfuss, Ian Wallace, Gwynyth Walsh, Anna Galvin, & Ted Whittall

Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Several years ago, the SyFy channel decided to take a crack at re-inventing the classic Wizard of Oz, a noble task, that many have tried and failed. I didn't know what to expect, but I assumed it would be some variation of the classic tale, hoping it would be more the like books and less like the films. Tin Man is defiantly not for kids and takes a unique approach to the classic story. In this version, OZ is not the friendly loveable place with strange characters and happy times for all. It's a dark story, about a dark place, where presently there is a lot of pain and misery. The big twist in the story is that this OZ is centuries past the one visited by Dorothy Gale. In the Outer Zone (O.Z.), Dorothy Gale is a revered as the start of the royal families bloodline, but she has been dead for centuries! That being said, quite ingeniously, the future residents of the O.Z. parallel the old story, but not because they have to, they are in a sense mocking the original story in subtle ways. There's D.G. (Zooey Deschanel), the girl from the other side, who was forced into the O.Z., with no memory of ever having been there before. She soon meets Glitch, (Alan Cummings) a man who had part of his brain removed for disobeying the Queen. As they try to figure out what is happening around them, they run into a man (Neal McDonough) being punished in a Tin Man suit. This man was a Cop or Tin Man in the O.Z. who was deemed a threat, and put into this horrible form of torture. Finally, they come to the rescue of a native healer, named Raw (Raoul Trujillo), who has become trapped by carnivores and is about to become dinner. Together they go to see the wise man, to find out how to proceed in helping D.G. The Wise Man (Richard Dreyfuss) turns out to be a drugged out magician doing parlor tricks! There are a million other parallels to the original story that make the journey through the O.Z. that much more enjoyable. Zooey Deschanel is the star and even though people often mistake her unique style of acting for inexperience, she was the perfect choice to play D.G. The other standout is veteran character actor, Neal McDonough, who gives a gut wrenching and strong performance as the tortured former cop, in search of his family. The rest of the supporting cast was equally as impressive, taking you through the full range of emotions. As I said before, this is certainly not the OZ you grew up with and it's certainly not what I expected. Everything from the special effects, to the story, and even the modernization, was extremely impressive. It really is a shame that this was only a three part mini-series, but this would have made for one hell of a regular series. Some of the parallels are obvious, but there were plenty of times where I legitimately forgot that I was watching The Wizard of Oz. Leave the musical for the kid, this is what Frank Baum had in mind when he started this series, and it's most defiantly meant for mature audiences only.

Wild Things (1998)

Starring: Neve Campbell, Matt Dillon, Denise Richards, & Kevin Bacon

Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

For years, people have been talking to me about this smart, sexy thriller, that spawned three sequels. There is also something to be said for mysteries, with twists and turns, that make you think, but a half hour into this thing, it was easy to figure out why none of the stars came back for the sequels. This movie certainly plays up the eye candy angle, with two of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, and at first glance, it seems like it's going to be a pretty good film, but then the twists and turns kick in. Throwing in a twist can make an ordinary film spectacular, but when you do it every five minutes, it just confuses the hell out of the audience, and that's what happened here. By the end of Wild Things, I didn't know what the hell was going on anymore. As for the performances, they range from the brilliant Neve Campbell to the horrid Matt Dillon, and feature a ton of cameos in-between. I wanted to like this movie, there are some very good looking people, who like to take their cloths off, and that does tend to help you focus more, but the question is what are we focusing on? I concluded that there really isn't a reason to watch two hours of pure shit, when you can find all the naked celebrity pictures you could ever want, in five minutes online.

Freaky Faron

Starring: Courtney Halverson, Lydia Milner, & Carly Hayes

Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

This is not a movie you should see, but I gave it one and a half stars because of it's star, Courtney Halverson. Halverson is a newcomer, who hasn't done much, but she was terrific and gave a little credibility to an otherwise horrible movie. Freaky Faron was listed as Sci-Fi/Fantasy, but in reality, it's a movie that could have aired on the Disney Channel. The plot is ridiculously stupid and is played out by actors who have hardly done anything before! Halverson was funny and entertaining as the freaky girl, who seems to be psychic and smarter than every one around her. Aside from that, this movie is not worth the reel it was recorded on. I find myself having a hard time explaining to you just how bad this thing was, I mean it was so bad, that I can't even begin to describe the story for you and that in and of itself should tell you to avoid it!