Confession (2005)

Starring: Chris Pine, Cameron Daddo, & Tom Bosley
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

This B-Movie gem is the first leading role for Chris Pine, and it may be his best role to date. Pine plays Luther, the "bad" kid at Catholic school who can get you anything you want. He is however caught and along with his roommate, he is quickly booted out of school. Luther becomes obsessed with finding out who turned him in and when he does, the boy mysterious turns up dead. At a similar time, someone confesses to Priest Michael Kelly, who now knows who and why, but can't say anything. As a result Kelly quickly becomes a suspect leading up to a tremendous finally. Pine, best known as the "new" Captain Kirk was just fantastic. It's a shame this is a B-Movie, because if it had been a major release, he would have gained the recognition he deserves a lot sooner. This film is tremendous, I saw it as a modern day Shakespearean tragedy. It has life, death, religion, intrigue, and much more. It's a great film that fell way under the radar!

Splice

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, & Delphine Chaneac
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Science Fiction is my passion. I write it, I read it, I watch it, & I love it, but movies like Splice are what keeps people away from the genre. This film is twisted, disgusting, and just fucked up. Two scientists decide they can splice human and animal DNA to create a genetically perfect being. This being would naturally produce cures to many diseases and could change the world. The whole time I was waiting for this thing to go crazy and kill everyone, but it doesn't quite happen that way. First, the scientists treat it like a pet, than a baby, than they fuck it... Oh no, I'm not joking! This film is disgusting! ...and how come everything these scientists make looks like a big penis? Seriously, I have never seen something that is just so pointless and disturbing. I can honestly say I wish I hadn't seen this film.

Little Odessa

Starring: Edward Furlong & Tim Roth
Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Billed as another Goodfellas, Little Odessa is the story of a mafia hitman returning home to do a job, as well as seeing the poor immigrant family he left behind. The story is great, the movie is not. Tim Roth is fantastic as the disowned, disgraced, murderous son. Roth always gives a very strong performance and does so again here. Edward Furlong, one of my favorites, unfortunately does not do as well. I've seen him in enough things to know, it's not his fault, it's the writing. This film is so dark and painfully slow that I barely made it through. Very little is explained and the dialogue is laughable, even at times non-existent. There are huge plot holes to go along with an ending that makes little sense. The writer was trying to tell his story more through imagery and symbolism in a genre that is based on action. You can't pull off something like this without explaining more of the story and using it to move things along. It's not the worst film I've ever seen, but to be honest, I was bored from start to finish.

Bad Teacher

Starring: Cameron Diaz, Justin Timberlake, & Lucy Punch
Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Bad Teacher is a bad movie. Billed as the raunchiest film since Bad Santa, my expectations were high. As far as I'm concerned, the raunchier the better, but seldom is a film that calls itself raunchy, actually raunchy. Cameron Diaz was terrific, but the story was extremely weak. There is zero character development, I wanted to punch most of the supporting cast, and as far as being funny, it's only good for a snicker here and there. It's a predictable story about a gold digging whore seeking money to get her boobs done. Parts of it are painful and the rest of it is just stupid. Honestly, if it wasn't for the word fuck, this movie would be rated PG-13. Diaz is a fantastic actress and the story had so many possibilities, but they were all overlooked. The result, another mediocre, overrated comedy billing itself as raunchy.

Volcano (1997)

Starring: Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, & Don Cheadle
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

The story is ridiculous, a volcano in the middle of L.A.? It's hard to believe and kind of hard to follow. The story starts out very strong, but descends into chaos as everything happens at once. A lot is going on and it's a jumble of impossible acts, which include stopping lava with a bus, a blown up building, and finally the sewers. At points it's more than just impossible, it's ridiculous! The only reason I liked this movie is Tommy Lee Jones, I love Jones and he once again shows that he can carry a film on his back. He's done it before, he'll do it again, and he did it here. Without Jones, this movie stinks, it's his distinctive, energetic, and authoritative personality which makes this film interesting. The movie is utterly ridiculous, yet Jones keeps you interested. Volcano may not be a movie you run out and buy, but if it's on cable, Jones will definitely keep your attention and get you to watch it.

Couples Retreat

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jason Bateman, Kristen Bell, & Kristin Davis
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

Why do I keep watching Vince Vaughn movies? Some people find his stuttering, fast-forward speech, and gravelly voice endearing, however it gets on my last nerve. Add to that a strange story and a talented, yet underperforming, cast to the mix, and it was a recipe for disaster. The story is really stupid and full of plot holes, no one wanted to go, but Vaughn gets roped into it and they all go? Everyone's getting divorced, than they dance and are in love, than they argue and are getting divorced, enough is enough! This movie sucked! It wasn't funny, it was weird and predictable, and stars Vince Vaughn...who should never play guitar hero in public again!

Igby Goes Down

Starring: Kieran Culkin, Ryan Phillippe, & Claire Danes
Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 Stars

I really love these weird independent comedies, that you have to be somewhat intelligent to understand. They are so much different from all the repetitive crap that we are subjected to over and over again. This is the story of a kid from a privileged family who just doesn't fit in. He sees the hypocrisy of it all and decides to run away to NYC, where he meets some unique characters that you'd only find in New York. The middle Culkin brother, Kieran, stars and was incredible. Simply put, sometimes the story is good, but the movie is made by its star, and Culkin gives one of the best performances I've seen in a film like this. Igby Goes Down has a ton of stars, it's a clever story, and you really connect to the characters. I really enjoyed this film, but be warned, it's not for everybody. I honestly believe when it comes to this type of film, you need a personality that relates to some aspect of the film. Without that connection, you might not get as much out of this film as others did.