Saturday, March 31, 2012

Invincible (2006)

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Greg Kinnear, & Elizabeth Banks
Rating: 2 1/2 out of 5 stars

Invincible is the story of Vince Papale, a thirty year old bartender in the 70's, who won a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles, after attending an open tryout. Disney used this little known story in an attempt to re-capture the emotion and inspiration of their other sports films like The Rookie and Miracle, but sadly, they failed. Even for a sports movie, Invincible was very slow and drawn out. Mark Wahlberg does an adequate job of portraying Papale, but doesn't really bring much to the table. This was supposed to be an inspiring tale of overcoming the odds, instead it was the story of some guy who once made the Eagles, and didn't really do anything special. It wasn't impressive or inspiring in anyway. Invincible was simply about an old sports story that really wasn't anything special.

Friday, March 30, 2012

White Air

Starring: Riley Smith, Dominique Swain, & Tom Sizemore
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars

Seldom have I seen a worse movie, I mean seriously, this was supposed to be a high-energy sports drama, instead it felt like watching a long music video. The soundtrack was bad ass, Riley Smith was pretty good and always nice to look at, but besides that, this film was poorly written, badly directed, and the acting was nauseating. To say it was a piece of shit, would be an insult to shit!

The Sitter (2011)

Starring: Jonah Hill, Max Records, & Sam Rockwell
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Jonah Hill is one of the funniest and most underrated comedic actors in all of Hollywood. I am not a huge fan of comedies, in fact, most of the films people consider to be the funniest movies of all time, I didn't like. Hill's films are one of the exceptions. I have to see every movie he is in because he is truly hysterical and makes everything he is in exceptional. The sitter didn't have a very strong plot, but it was a hysterical movie that worked because of Hill. Everyone around him just follows his lead and plays off his energy and it was evident here. Hill along with three kids he's babysitting go on an unbelievable and hysterical adventure in NYC. It's one of those films you don't believe and that initial comes across as stupid, but it's also a film you can't stop watching because you want to see what happens next. Hill was fantastic, the three kids were great, and for once I actually enjoyed a comedy with Sam Rockwell in it. This film isn't going to change any lives or win any awards, but it was damn good and a lot of fun, I highly recommend it.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

X-Men: First Class

Starring: James McAvoy, Kevin Bacon, & Michael Fassbender
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

I never read a comic book and when I saw the first X-Men film, I was intrigued, but confused. Throughout the trilogy, I always thought I was missing a lot of the story and this is it. First Class is the missing link that will answer questions for the fans of the movie, who don't follow the comics, and it is one blockbuster film that more than lives up to its hype. From the special effects to the make-up and finally to the actors this film is amazing. Movies like this never win awards, but you will be hard pressed to find better performances than those of James McAvoy, Kevin Bacon, & Michael Fassbender. The whole cast was terrific, the story was fantastic, and the special effects were truly out of this world. This is a great film and I'm craving more. I can't wait to see what connections the next forty years bring between first class and the trilogy. When it's all said and done, I hope I can watch all these films and truly understand the whole story.

Friday, March 23, 2012

Children of The Corn 8: Genesis

Starring: Billy Drago, Kelen Coleman, & Tim Rock
Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

How does a short story spawn eight feature films? It's simple, nothing is scarier or more creepy than children who kill people. The eighth film, like several of the other sequels, doesn't take place in Gatlin, and is very loosely tied to the original story. I give this movie credit for possibly being the creepiest children of the corn, and for doing it without much of the gore the other films featured. A lot of the credit goes to veteran movie actor, Billy Drago, who is just creepy by nature. There is no denying the film is creepy, but is it good? No, not really! The story is very slow at times, inconsistent, and some what predictable. Genesis had a bit more potential than some of its predecessors, but in the end, despite the creepy vibe it gives off, it's just another really bad sequel that we didn't need.

RV

Starring: Robin Williams, Cheryl Hines, & Josh Hutcherson
Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Long before being cast in the leading role of the Hunger Games, Josh Hutcherson was still doing movies. One of his first major roles was as the white homie in RV. For those of you who say Robin Williams is done and that he doesn't make funny movies anymore, I guess you haven't seen RV. Unlike Williams previous hits, it's not raunchy and it won't tick off any particular group in America, but it's still a cute comedy, and Williams is as funny as ever. Williams proves in this film, that a good comedian is always funny, and that you don't necessarily need to be raunchy or obscene to be funny. RV was for the most part a family film, with way too many jokes about doody, but it was still good for killing a few hours with a few good laughs.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Stephen King's Desperation

Starring: Ron Pearlman, Tom Skerritt, & Shane Haboucha
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

When Stephen King's work started being turned into movies, they were always great, but the newer stuff, has really been hit or miss. For the first hour, Desperation was great and Ron Pearlman was hilarious as the twisted sheriff, abducting people on the highway. Unfortunately, about half way through this film, the movie changes focus to young David, played by the kid from the Stacy's Mom video, Shane Haboucha. David is some kind of prophet who is more aware of things than the other. That was cool, but his constant ramblings about God, and spouting of all this religious bull shit got really annoying. By the time things built up to the end, I was so annoyed with this little kid and his ramblings that I just didn't care about what was going to happen. I just wanted the film to be over. Desperation is just another case of a writer and an actor taking things too far, to a point where it taints the whole movie.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Edge of Darkness

Starring: Mel Gibson, Ray Winstone, & Bojana Novakovic
Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Edge of Darkness is a dark and gritty crime thriller, based on a 1986 British Mini-series of the same name. The story was actually pretty good, filled with twists, turns, crosses, and double crosses, but the problem was that it was all too familiar. Murdered daughter, angry father looking for justice, Mel Gibson on a crazy rampage....and why are these things always in Boston? Does Hollywood have some secret underground bet about who will have the worst accent? That being said, Gibson, (minus the accent), was terrific. Say what you will about him as a person, but when it comes to a dark, action thriller, there is still no one better than Mel Gibson. His character was very reminiscent of Porter in Payback, intense, strong, and smart as a whip. As I said before, this is a good story, made even better by Gibson, but it's a familiar story that's been done to death! Edge of Darkness is very entertaining and has some nice twists, but ultimately it's not much different from a dozen other films with a similar tagline.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Take Me Home Tonight

Starring: Topher Grace, Anna Faris, & Dan Fogler
Rating: 3 out of 5 stars

I did not want to see this movie, because it really seemed like just another film about people being idiots at a party, and that's pretty much what it was, with two major exceptions. First, it was set in 1984, and it was really cool to see the lengths they went to, to keep everything as accurate as they could. Second, both Topher Grace and Anna Faris were a breath of fresh air. It's hard to bring anything new to a film like this, which is evident by characters like Dan Fogler's, which was stale and predictable. Grace and Faris on the other hand really had great chemistry and add a unique dynamic to the typical drunken loser genre. Take Me Home Tonight isn't going to win any awards, but it was a lot more entertaining than I thought it would be.

Charlie St. Cloud

Starring: Zac Efron, Charlie Tahan, & Amanda Crew
Rating: 2 out of 5 stars

This isn't normally the type of movie I watch. I decided to check it out though, because people have been raving about it. It also features Charlie Tahan, who is one of the biggest up and coming stars around. Charlie St. Cloud also has some awesome cameos and let's face it, Zac Efron was pretty good in 17 again, so I took a chance. Sadly though, even with all the film apparently had going for it, Charlie St. Cloud was a boring flop. The story follows a young man's journey to re-discover himself following a drunk driving accident that claimed the life of his little brother. It's a solid story to build on, but that's just it, it really doesn't go anywhere from there. Charlie is consumed by what happened and even years later spends hours in the woods talking to his brothers ghost. If you watch the first fifteen minutes of the movie, there really all there is to see. It had a lot of potential and fairly good cast, but honestly I found the film to be boring and really fucking depressing.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Graduation

Starring: Chris Marquette, Shannon Lucio, & Chris Lowell
Rating: 3 1/2 out of 5 stars

Graduation is an intense and clever thriller that surprised the hell out of me. It only got 3 1/2 stars, because the beginning drags on forever, but by the end of this film, you will be very satisfied. This young cast led by TV veteran, Chris Marquette, follows four best friends approaching their high school graduation. Unfortunate circumstances lead them to need a large sum of money and they come up with the only option available to them, rob a bank. This is a tough film to review without spoilers, so I can't say more than that, but this is a very clever film, with some great young actors. Although it was slow at first, the ending makes it all worthwhile, and you'll be very surprised at where the groups choices lead them. This may be a b-movie with a no-name cast, but it's one that will change the way you think about certain things and I highly recommend it!

Harper's Island

Starring: Elaine Cassidy, Chris Gorham, Katie Cassidy, & Matt Barr
Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Harper's Island was a Mini-Series on CBS in the summer of 2009. Had it been in a decent time slot or debuted in the fall, this would have been a huge franchise. Instead this unique and exciting show was buried due to bad ratings. Harper's Island is a small island off the coast of Washington state, where rich people come to vacation, a small fishing village exists, and it was the home to a serial killer. 7 years earlier, John Wakefield killed 6 people on Harper's Island including Abby's mother. Now she is returning home for the first in 7 years for the wedding of her best friend. Harper's Island is back to normal, Wakefield is long dead, and all that remains are memories...Until people start dying again. The show is terrific, full of twists and turns and all kinds of things you won't see coming. I love shows that keep you guessing and make you think, however the one drawback of this show is that it was in fact designed as a mini-series. There is so much good stuff here, but they only have 13 hours to tell the story, so a lot of it is rushed and at points it feels like you're watching a soap opera. I wish the network saw the potential and took this gem and made it into a series, but they didn't. Harper's Island is hardly remembered now, 4 years later, but it was a show that was clever, fast-paced, and adored by its fans. The true killer of Harper's Island is Nielsen, as once again the ratings killed a gem in the making.

Paul

Starring: Simon Pegg, Seth Rogan, & Kristen Wiig
Rating: 1 1/2 out of 5 stars

Making a funny science fiction based movie is not easy. There have been a few good ones and many many past flops. If anyone could do it, I was sure it would be Seth Rogan. I've loved almost everything he's been in and with this current streak, I thought he couldn't lose, but with Paul, he did. The story was original, but it was so out there that it crosses the line from funny to stupid and then doesn't go far enough to get back to funny. Paul is supposed to be this humanized alien, whose raunchy and outrageous, but the truth is he was like a hyper-active 12 year old. As for Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, they are dry and confusing, nothing new there. The only thing of interest in this film is really the cameos, so a I'd like to give a big thanks to Jason Bateman, Jane Lynch, Sigourney Weaver, Blythe Danner, & Jeffery Tambor for adding something of interest to an otherwise awful movie!